TOTAL INFORMATION ANALYSIS

Sunday, April 01, 2007

One of the Crown's pet mental patients magickally broached the security of BeatleClone Sir PAUL MCCARTNEY in an apparent assassination attempt this weekend. Said BeatleClone has recently broken with Her Majesty's military record label EMI in favor of occult coffeebrewer Starbucks.


The story made The News of the World 1 April 2007:

"A RAGING madman was held after trying to force his way into Paul McCartney's mansion, screaming: "I must get to him."

Driving at frightening speeds, the middle-aged Beatle nut burst through security patrols into Macca's isolated Sussex estate on Friday.

Guards who feared an assassination attempt were scrambled to intercept him as he sped towards Macca's front door, yelling at the top of his voice: "I must get in."

They managed to block the screaming maniac's path by activating an emergency security gate.

But the intruder simply drove across fields and gardens until he was finally halted by trees and a fence just yards from Sir Paul's six-bedroom home at Peasmarsh.

Frantic staff at the 160-acre estate dialled 999, but the man fled in his blue car as teams of police arrived.

He gave himself up after a three-mile country-lane chase to the neighbouring village of Northiam and was arrested.

An insider said: "It was terrifying. This guy put the fear of God into everyone because they thought he wanted to kill Paul."

[...]

After the police chase and arrest the intruder was sectioned and detained in a local psychiatric hospital.

[...]

"He was initially arrested on suspicion of criminal damage and failing to stop when challenged by police.

"He was later detained under the Mental Health Act and is not facing criminal charges."

In recent months Macca's security staff have confronted a string of weird fans outside his various homes.

Two weeks ago Sussex police investigated a suspicious man who had spent four days trying to follow the musician and his staff in a blacked-out Volvo car.
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• On Monday EMI will announce a deal with Apple Computers.

  Labels: beatles, mind control, patsies

| Posted at 22:19 | PERMA-LINK |

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